...Somehow, I didn't expect you to say that. My mistake.
[It's neutral as ever, almost a touch wry, but it's very notably not derisive in the slightest surprisingly.
As for that question...Amaya pauses a bit, considering. There's...much to this story, admittedly, and she's already told so much to a stranger. A stranger who gets what she is, admittedly, but...]
...It is a bit of a long story, my child. But I can sum it up as this; my father was the one who gave her the means to attempt to destroy our world. and I...was made to pay for her failure to do so.
[Religious connotations go straight over his head because he has met all of like one (1) religious person, whoops.]
Ah, I see, so this is a part of penance for what your father did... or rather, a part you had no say in, I assume.
[How dreadful, to be used as a tool by so many people. What's it like, he wonders. Sure, he was used for his knowledge, but he was using Ruby Dawn as well. That's the way of the world - use and be used. But to exclusively be used by others, all while giving back to the community only because you feel you must to atone for someone else's sins... Truly, it's beyond comprehension. But that's what makes it so interesting.]
...You are possibly the third to mention that. It is...well. It seems like it is an unfortunate verbal tic I have picked up from my father; is it truly that unusual to hear...?
[She genuinely sounds curious and...confused. She thought all leaders did that? ...Maybe not Princess Maribel, but--
Amaya does nod, when he says that much. She's thankful for the lack of pity, at least.]
You would be correct. She made the choice for me, in that regard, and I...simply try to do all that I can to live in defiance of her wishes. I know not if I do a good job at it, but it does not matter.
For those sins...I will atone my whole life, for them.
Yes...? Perhaps it's more commonplace where you're from, though?
[But anyway. The more pressing thing is Amaya's next words which are truly baffling. The thought of atoning for anything is foreign as hell to him to begin with, but spending your whole life atoning for something someone else did?]
...Why? To what end? It doesn't sound like any of this was your fault - and even if it somehow was, what would atoning change? Penance can't undo the past.
[Still no judgment on her decision, just confusion.]
[It isn't sharp, when she corrects him; perhaps it lends credence to the fact that she isn't telling the whole truth of the situation, but...
Penance can't undo the past.
She knows. She knows damn well that it's true. Amaya has known this for a damn long time, that all she's doing is putting a bandaid over the big gaping wound over Quercetem that the Dragon's influence left behind. The idea that no matter what she might do, that it will never be enough to earn forgiveness, to earn some sort of better life, to earn something better that she never had the opportunity for is...]
But I...want to be better, even if I cannot feel it. I want to prove to myself that I can do better, if I put my nose to the grindstone. I will be better than their thoughts. I will be better than their assumptions and their wishes for my blood.
And I will be better than her wishes that I simply fall for the same tricks my father did.
[There's a surprising amount of intensity to her tone when she says all of that; driven, though lifeless. Determined, yet devoid of passion. As if all that exists is a perfectly white line, a path forward, and Amaya will tread that path with no hesitation.]
Even if it changes nothing, I...perhaps long to spite those people.
[Even with it laid out in such an obvious way, Zvei doesn't understand. He can follow each point and see where it connects, but somewhere along the way it goes from something comprehensible to something beyond his understanding. Maybe it's the fact that he couldn't care less about what other people think of him. Maybe it's that his own goal is entirely selfish and self-centered. Maybe it's that he's never really cared about anyone around him to begin with. Or maybe it's that the bitterness and spite that drives her is foreign to him as well, because he's never really had it in him to be angry at anyone else. Doing better - for her own sake - is something he can almost grasp, but the fact that it still is beyond him agitates him.
How can someone with similar issues end up so completely different?]
I won't pretend I understand, because frankly, I don't. But having some sort of motivation is the important part, I think. If that's what you want to do, then do all you can to achieve it. Spite those who thought less of you; become better than they ever could have dreamed of.
[She doesn't need him to say it, but he does anyway.]
[...It's strangely empty feeling, to hear him say that much to her, even with the caveats. Maybe if she could feel anything at all, she could smile. She could thank him, sincerely, maybe. The Dragon is gone from her and she still can't feel anything.
It's...strange, though Amaya ends up neutralizing. Going back to her normal and tipping her head at Zvei's words.]
...Thank you. [It's as neutral as ever, though something in her gaze has softened a fraction. That will have to be good enough.] I have found it...hard, to have motivation after my Father died; I lived under him for most of my life, before Aneirin found me and took me in. To live on my own terms is a new experience. One I have to keep finding that motivation for.
But so long as I live, I intend to keep seizing it.
Then that's all there is to it. It doesn't matter if no one else accepts it or understands it; the fact that it continues to push you forward is more than enough.
[That's how he's always rationalized it, and that's how he always will rationalize it. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.]
Ah, but you've mentioned them again - tell me about Aneirin?
[Amaya nods at that, content to let that conversation go; there's a lot she hasn't told him, but it's...nice to be seen. To be heard and understood.
As for Aneirin, though...Amaya's look goes out to the distance, but her gaze softens. Still neutral, but perhaps the closest thing to fondness she can feel.]
Aneirin is an interesting fellow, all be told. A demon with horns of gold and a gaudy fashion sense, he's probably the most vain man that I know. There isn't a single second he isn't adjusting something about his attire--he wants no hair out of place, no piece of jewelry smudged, and he wants to look beautiful at all times. He's a demon who feeds off of the misery of others, from what I am to understand. It simply...leaves in a wave of black, absorbing itself into him and making him appear almost radiant when he feeds.
[...]
...He's also incredibly kind. He...has a tendency to look out for others, worrying after them and taking care of them. Aneirin is usually the one who takes care of my hair, and helps clean our shared quarters when I am too busy to do so myself.
Demons have powers like that where you're from? How marvelous! Many humans assume we're capable of such things, but that isn't something I can do, anyway.
[As for whether other deimori can... well, who knows? He sure doesn't.]
How charming that he'd be so helpful, considering he feeds off of misery. Though I suppose I can see where your circumstances would lead to an excellent food source for him.
[Is it nice to have a close friend like that? Or... is it maybe more like his relationship with Fiona was? Where one of them was giving and giving and giving and the other simply took what was offered and made use of it?]
They do...admittedly, the realm where Aneirin comes from is very much outside of Madide's jurisdiction. I do believe it may simply be a matter of his realm having demons with powers like that. I wonder how deimori and demons differ, now...perhaps Aneirin will find his way here, and we can talk about such things. I'm certain he would find it fascinating.
[Amaya tips her head a bit, though, at that second statement. Definitely not wrong, at least.]
It does. I have asked him multiple times if he has ever considered leaving; he has said no all of those times. The sustenance I provide him is second to none, so he says.
And how funny it is. He usually gets it from simply talking to me, and encouraging me to air out my frustrations. I find I cannot fault him, when it is so easy for him to stay fueled and beautiful as he wants.
We do, yes. I...cannot feel much about it, but I would not trade Aneirin's company for anything in the world...I think. That must count for something.
[But ah, Zvei's gotten distracted again. By probably one of the weirder things to explain, but it may shed some light on the 'outside of Quercetem' comment...]
Madide is the name of the... [Hm.] The best way I can describe it is that...well, based off of the religion that most of the worlds it encompasses follows, it is the collective name of the worlds that the Creator and Granter have created amongst themselves, or so it has been told.
There are many theories as to what this truly means. Whether it be lands separated by a near insurmountable sea, or lands separated by magic leading to entirely different places...it is unknown.
I only truly know of this because of some of the people who have found their way into Fefello Caelum, who were not born in any of Quercetem's lands.
[Yes, that does count for something, he thinks. How nice, to have someone whose company she likes - as much as she's capable of liking such a thing, anyway.
But moving on! This is absolutely fascinating.]
Quercetem being the "world" you come from, correct? How interesting, that yours is not limited to just one world but rather several attached through means of... magic? The gods? Certainly nothing like Aelios, all we have is our one world! Are these other worlds vastly different from your own?
Indeed. At least, that seems to be the running theory; it would explain the vastly different stories I have heard. [Amaya taps her chin in thought as she tries to think about what she's asked, before coming back with a nod.] A woman who consistently stops by to trade for supplies, for example, comes from a place known as Nusquam; she apparently leads a squadron of fellow women that help eradicate crime from the streets and...seas, if her eccentric talk is to be believed. Much of it I find quite confusing, though her powers are unlike anything I have ever seen.
She utilizes some sort of weapon that I have never been able to get the name of, but it seems to be a long...object which sort of acts akin to an automatic bow and arrow? But it shoots something much smaller and deadlier at the target.
And she is but one of a few people with circumstances like that. A few people came from Eluvies, which has fallen on hard times from what I am to understand.
[So while Amaya's knowledge of said worlds is sort of minimal, there's at least proof to that theory of multiple ones existing.]
But regardless, it does make matters quite interesting. Not that Quercetem needs it, with various quarreling powers both human and not at the helm.
How fascinating! It would seem your world...s are dealing with quite a lot! Having access to other worlds... why, even I might never get bored of that!
[Though who's to say, really.]
Thank you for indulging my curiosity. I find the concept of other worlds truly mesmerizing, and to think that you've people from other worlds within the place you come from! How delightful.
Hmph. [It almost sounds amused, but unfortunately, much like everything Amaya can't express, it's way too monotone and the intentional inflection is off as always.] You may not, but I can promise you, it seems to be more of a headache than it's worth. It's why I've never even given thought to seeing if there's a way out; I've too much to deal with as is. Leave it to the ones who have that curious spark.
But it truly is no trouble. You'll have to tell me more about Emirre, at some point; I must admit I am quite...curious about it now, I think.
[...]
Or at minimum, it would not be an unpleasant waste of time.
[He appreciates the honesty!! It even gets a short, sharp laugh from him.]
Hah, I'll take "not an unpleasant waste of time"! Emirre is one of the countries within my world, Aelios. It is one of the largest and most influential and mostly populated by humans. Ruby Dawn - that guild I work for - has its headquarters in Emirre, but also operates throughout most of the eastern continent, where Emirre's located.
As for Emirre itself... Well, it's a kingdom that recently went through a rather nasty fight for the throne with the prince overthrowing his father, the queen's consort, and becoming king. We've thankfully been spared any major conflict in recent memory outside of that, although rumor has it that the Sheliak Empire to the southeast might attempt to expand towards our borders.
If there's anything else you're curious about, you have but to ask! I'm always delighted to share my knowledge.
[As delighted as someone like him can be, anyway.]
[...It was a slight mistake, getting him talking again, but Amaya finds she's not minding it nearly as much this time.]
I believe I follow. A major city that houses most people, and most power along with it...and with such a large land being recovering from a power struggle like that, I can only imagine the chaos that has befallen the land.
I do pray you are all spared further struggle.
[But...]
You mentioned those...magicaeli, back when we were talking earlier. Might I inquire as to what they are? Are they like...runes, catalysts for magic?
Ah, yes! Magicaeli are essentially crystalized mana - incredibly powerful magical stones, if you will. The formation of them was a mystery for quite some time along with why they were almost exclusively found within the Aeli's Branches - mysteries I set out to solve. As the focus of my research, I could spend all day discussing the intricacies! But to put it very simply, whenever a living creature dies, their mana - natural magical energies innate to all living beings - can coalesce into a magicaeli. There's a higher chance of this happening in the Aeli's Branches because the environments are naturally full of mana. More powerful people and creatures leave behind more powerful magicaeli, and the higher up the Branches one goes, the denser the natural mana becomes, leaving behind even stronger crystals.
It was through the use of the strongest of the magicaeli, found at the tops of the Branches, that I was able to pierce the barrier surrounding the Aeli itself. Seven unique magicaeli were needed, one from each of the Aeli's Branches. It was quite difficult - and costly! - to gather all seven, but worth it for the chance to explore the unknown.
So...essentially, life energy mixes with the inherent mana of the branches, creating these stones of various power. It is merely more likely near where the branches are located, but they can be quite powerful if something is felled higher up in the branches.
[She's trying to piece it together herself, and she thinks she gets it. Not exactly elemental energy, but energy of life and the wonder of the Aeli combine, in her eyes, to create these things.]
So essentially, the Aeli created it's own key for you? Though, from what you've said, it was quite costly to gather them in one place. I take it that magicaeli have many uses in one's day to day life, then...?
Correct on both counts! Magicaeli can be quite costly and difficult to obtain, but there's no power quite like them. Even the weakest can light a town for months! Adventurers explore the Aeli's Branches in order to gather them, as well as anything else of interest they find within, of course. The places are full of monsters meaning that only the reckless or truly strong will make it to the top alive.
[Usually only the latter, but some of the former are among Ruby Dawn's ranks.]
They're that powerful? Goodness. [It seems like shock is something Amaya can express, at least a bit!! And that's interesting, to say the least.] So one must be combat ready in order to explore...that makes quite a bit of sense, then.
...Perhaps a bit of a non-sequitur, but do you fight, then? [He sort of has the physique for it...] If our stay is to be extended here, perhaps I wouldn't mind a sparring opponent...ah, if you do not mind, of course. But I am getting ahead of myself--or do the guild members fight and support you while you do your work?
[Amaya continues and Zvei nods at her question... before making a face at the idea of sparring.]
I do fight, but I'm a healer. I prefer to avoid all things physical.
[Despite having the physique for it???]
Given how dangerous it can be just to travel between towns, most people either learn to fight or have to pay those who can. I chose to specialize in healing, since it isn't quite as common and healers are always needed amongst the guilds.
[...Please ignore the way Amaya almost pouts, it's fine--]
I cannot deny that such a thing is a smart action. A healer is always necessary in most situations at home, as well; I imagine that in such a dangerous place, you are deeply invaluable. That much is good.
It at least keeps any reckless idiots from dying.
[Amaya pauses a bit.]
...I would not have expected it, however. You maintain your physique despite that...?
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[It's neutral as ever, almost a touch wry, but it's very notably not derisive in the slightest surprisingly.
As for that question...Amaya pauses a bit, considering. There's...much to this story, admittedly, and she's already told so much to a stranger. A stranger who gets what she is, admittedly, but...]
...It is a bit of a long story, my child. But I can sum it up as this; my father was the one who gave her the means to attempt to destroy our world. and I...was made to pay for her failure to do so.
[...It's a half truth, at least--]
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[Religious connotations go straight over his head because he has met all of like one (1) religious person, whoops.]
Ah, I see, so this is a part of penance for what your father did... or rather, a part you had no say in, I assume.
[How dreadful, to be used as a tool by so many people. What's it like, he wonders. Sure, he was used for his knowledge, but he was using Ruby Dawn as well. That's the way of the world - use and be used. But to exclusively be used by others, all while giving back to the community only because you feel you must to atone for someone else's sins... Truly, it's beyond comprehension. But that's what makes it so interesting.]
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[She genuinely sounds curious and...confused. She thought all leaders did that? ...Maybe not Princess Maribel, but--
Amaya does nod, when he says that much. She's thankful for the lack of pity, at least.]
You would be correct. She made the choice for me, in that regard, and I...simply try to do all that I can to live in defiance of her wishes. I know not if I do a good job at it, but it does not matter.
For those sins...I will atone my whole life, for them.
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[But anyway. The more pressing thing is Amaya's next words which are truly baffling. The thought of atoning for anything is foreign as hell to him to begin with, but spending your whole life atoning for something someone else did?]
...Why? To what end? It doesn't sound like any of this was your fault - and even if it somehow was, what would atoning change? Penance can't undo the past.
[Still no judgment on her decision, just confusion.]
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[It isn't sharp, when she corrects him; perhaps it lends credence to the fact that she isn't telling the whole truth of the situation, but...
Penance can't undo the past.
She knows. She knows damn well that it's true. Amaya has known this for a damn long time, that all she's doing is putting a bandaid over the big gaping wound over Quercetem that the Dragon's influence left behind. The idea that no matter what she might do, that it will never be enough to earn forgiveness, to earn some sort of better life, to earn something better that she never had the opportunity for is...]
But I...want to be better, even if I cannot feel it. I want to prove to myself that I can do better, if I put my nose to the grindstone. I will be better than their thoughts. I will be better than their assumptions and their wishes for my blood.
And I will be better than her wishes that I simply fall for the same tricks my father did.
[There's a surprising amount of intensity to her tone when she says all of that; driven, though lifeless. Determined, yet devoid of passion. As if all that exists is a perfectly white line, a path forward, and Amaya will tread that path with no hesitation.]
Even if it changes nothing, I...perhaps long to spite those people.
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How can someone with similar issues end up so completely different?]
I won't pretend I understand, because frankly, I don't. But having some sort of motivation is the important part, I think. If that's what you want to do, then do all you can to achieve it. Spite those who thought less of you; become better than they ever could have dreamed of.
[She doesn't need him to say it, but he does anyway.]
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[...It's strangely empty feeling, to hear him say that much to her, even with the caveats. Maybe if she could feel anything at all, she could smile. She could thank him, sincerely, maybe. The Dragon is gone from her and she still can't feel anything.
It's...strange, though Amaya ends up neutralizing. Going back to her normal and tipping her head at Zvei's words.]
...Thank you. [It's as neutral as ever, though something in her gaze has softened a fraction. That will have to be good enough.] I have found it...hard, to have motivation after my Father died; I lived under him for most of my life, before Aneirin found me and took me in. To live on my own terms is a new experience. One I have to keep finding that motivation for.
But so long as I live, I intend to keep seizing it.
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[That's how he's always rationalized it, and that's how he always will rationalize it. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.]
Ah, but you've mentioned them again - tell me about Aneirin?
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As for Aneirin, though...Amaya's look goes out to the distance, but her gaze softens. Still neutral, but perhaps the closest thing to fondness she can feel.]
Aneirin is an interesting fellow, all be told. A demon with horns of gold and a gaudy fashion sense, he's probably the most vain man that I know. There isn't a single second he isn't adjusting something about his attire--he wants no hair out of place, no piece of jewelry smudged, and he wants to look beautiful at all times. He's a demon who feeds off of the misery of others, from what I am to understand. It simply...leaves in a wave of black, absorbing itself into him and making him appear almost radiant when he feeds.
[...]
...He's also incredibly kind. He...has a tendency to look out for others, worrying after them and taking care of them. Aneirin is usually the one who takes care of my hair, and helps clean our shared quarters when I am too busy to do so myself.
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[As for whether other deimori can... well, who knows? He sure doesn't.]
How charming that he'd be so helpful, considering he feeds off of misery. Though I suppose I can see where your circumstances would lead to an excellent food source for him.
[Is it nice to have a close friend like that? Or... is it maybe more like his relationship with Fiona was? Where one of them was giving and giving and giving and the other simply took what was offered and made use of it?]
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[Amaya tips her head a bit, though, at that second statement. Definitely not wrong, at least.]
It does. I have asked him multiple times if he has ever considered leaving; he has said no all of those times. The sustenance I provide him is second to none, so he says.
And how funny it is. He usually gets it from simply talking to me, and encouraging me to air out my frustrations. I find I cannot fault him, when it is so easy for him to stay fueled and beautiful as he wants.
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[He is going to keep getting distracted, I promise.]
It sounds as though you both get something valuable from it. A confidant, a food source - that's the best way to approach such things, I think.
[Better than one side giving and the other taking, anyway.]
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[But ah, Zvei's gotten distracted again. By probably one of the weirder things to explain, but it may shed some light on the 'outside of Quercetem' comment...]
Madide is the name of the... [Hm.] The best way I can describe it is that...well, based off of the religion that most of the worlds it encompasses follows, it is the collective name of the worlds that the Creator and Granter have created amongst themselves, or so it has been told.
There are many theories as to what this truly means. Whether it be lands separated by a near insurmountable sea, or lands separated by magic leading to entirely different places...it is unknown.
I only truly know of this because of some of the people who have found their way into Fefello Caelum, who were not born in any of Quercetem's lands.
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But moving on! This is absolutely fascinating.]
Quercetem being the "world" you come from, correct? How interesting, that yours is not limited to just one world but rather several attached through means of... magic? The gods? Certainly nothing like Aelios, all we have is our one world! Are these other worlds vastly different from your own?
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She utilizes some sort of weapon that I have never been able to get the name of, but it seems to be a long...object which sort of acts akin to an automatic bow and arrow? But it shoots something much smaller and deadlier at the target.
And she is but one of a few people with circumstances like that. A few people came from Eluvies, which has fallen on hard times from what I am to understand.
[So while Amaya's knowledge of said worlds is sort of minimal, there's at least proof to that theory of multiple ones existing.]
But regardless, it does make matters quite interesting. Not that Quercetem needs it, with various quarreling powers both human and not at the helm.
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[Though who's to say, really.]
Thank you for indulging my curiosity. I find the concept of other worlds truly mesmerizing, and to think that you've people from other worlds within the place you come from! How delightful.
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But it truly is no trouble. You'll have to tell me more about Emirre, at some point; I must admit I am quite...curious about it now, I think.
[...]
Or at minimum, it would not be an unpleasant waste of time.
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Hah, I'll take "not an unpleasant waste of time"! Emirre is one of the countries within my world, Aelios. It is one of the largest and most influential and mostly populated by humans. Ruby Dawn - that guild I work for - has its headquarters in Emirre, but also operates throughout most of the eastern continent, where Emirre's located.
As for Emirre itself... Well, it's a kingdom that recently went through a rather nasty fight for the throne with the prince overthrowing his father, the queen's consort, and becoming king. We've thankfully been spared any major conflict in recent memory outside of that, although rumor has it that the Sheliak Empire to the southeast might attempt to expand towards our borders.
If there's anything else you're curious about, you have but to ask! I'm always delighted to share my knowledge.
[As delighted as someone like him can be, anyway.]
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I believe I follow. A major city that houses most people, and most power along with it...and with such a large land being recovering from a power struggle like that, I can only imagine the chaos that has befallen the land.
I do pray you are all spared further struggle.
[But...]
You mentioned those...magicaeli, back when we were talking earlier. Might I inquire as to what they are? Are they like...runes, catalysts for magic?
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[Hahaha. Well, that's not his problem right now.]
Ah, yes! Magicaeli are essentially crystalized mana - incredibly powerful magical stones, if you will. The formation of them was a mystery for quite some time along with why they were almost exclusively found within the Aeli's Branches - mysteries I set out to solve. As the focus of my research, I could spend all day discussing the intricacies! But to put it very simply, whenever a living creature dies, their mana - natural magical energies innate to all living beings - can coalesce into a magicaeli. There's a higher chance of this happening in the Aeli's Branches because the environments are naturally full of mana. More powerful people and creatures leave behind more powerful magicaeli, and the higher up the Branches one goes, the denser the natural mana becomes, leaving behind even stronger crystals.
It was through the use of the strongest of the magicaeli, found at the tops of the Branches, that I was able to pierce the barrier surrounding the Aeli itself. Seven unique magicaeli were needed, one from each of the Aeli's Branches. It was quite difficult - and costly! - to gather all seven, but worth it for the chance to explore the unknown.
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So...essentially, life energy mixes with the inherent mana of the branches, creating these stones of various power. It is merely more likely near where the branches are located, but they can be quite powerful if something is felled higher up in the branches.
[She's trying to piece it together herself, and she thinks she gets it. Not exactly elemental energy, but energy of life and the wonder of the Aeli combine, in her eyes, to create these things.]
So essentially, the Aeli created it's own key for you? Though, from what you've said, it was quite costly to gather them in one place. I take it that magicaeli have many uses in one's day to day life, then...?
[Let her see if she's grasping it right.]
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[Usually only the latter, but some of the former are among Ruby Dawn's ranks.]
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They're that powerful? Goodness. [It seems like shock is something Amaya can express, at least a bit!! And that's interesting, to say the least.] So one must be combat ready in order to explore...that makes quite a bit of sense, then.
...Perhaps a bit of a non-sequitur, but do you fight, then? [He sort of has the physique for it...] If our stay is to be extended here, perhaps I wouldn't mind a sparring opponent...ah, if you do not mind, of course. But I am getting ahead of myself--or do the guild members fight and support you while you do your work?
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[Amaya continues and Zvei nods at her question... before making a face at the idea of sparring.]
I do fight, but I'm a healer. I prefer to avoid all things physical.
[Despite having the physique for it???]
Given how dangerous it can be just to travel between towns, most people either learn to fight or have to pay those who can. I chose to specialize in healing, since it isn't quite as common and healers are always needed amongst the guilds.
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I cannot deny that such a thing is a smart action. A healer is always necessary in most situations at home, as well; I imagine that in such a dangerous place, you are deeply invaluable. That much is good.
It at least keeps any reckless idiots from dying.
[Amaya pauses a bit.]
...I would not have expected it, however. You maintain your physique despite that...?
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